say anything

march 5th, 2013

i forgot how to breathe

when you were close to me.

close enough that our teeth were touching,

close enough that i could feel you blinking,

close enough that i couldn’t find our seam.

exhaling doesn’t come easily.

January 30, 2013

one of these days

all the fibers that are the whole of me

will fray and fray until they are no more

and the top of me will explode

and the bottom will melt away

and there will be puddles and smoke

of what used to be

one of these days

i will evaporate and the thoughts in my head

will fill the room without a body

sometimes i just really don’t know what i will ever do without you, so don’t leave me.

i really need you to be close to me. i think that’s bad.

i need to be close to every part of you,

not just the parts that are easy to get to.

let

me

in

you were lying there and

you said that my heart beats fast

i was wondering how it could

possibly be beating at all

my new year’s resolution

so i started this new blog. it’s mostly for myself. but you can look if you want.

justbemyfriend.tumblr.com

November 8, 2012

i need to stop

expecting you

to read my mind

you need to stop

expecting me

not to read yours

November 4, 2012

i’m angry because you fell in love without me.

October 30, 2012

there are dreamlike voices singing to me about magnetic altitudes and i do not understand what that means. i desperately want to.

i desperately want to understand everything.

trains in my head and in my blood and my bones are all in the way and i want to shrink maybe but stay the same because then i can not only observe but participate.

too many sounds are in this house and i want them to go away but at the same time it is music and it is why i am awake.

now they’re singing about the obscurity of our universe and how everything is worth it. is everything worth it? i want to say yes. i have been conditioned to say yes. so i will say yes. but the answer has nothing to do with me. why even bother asking? more words pop into my head.

everything is going swimmingly, right? swimmingly.